Beat it

Beat;
verb, beat, beat⋅en or beat, beat⋅ing, noun, adjective
–verb (used with object)

43. Informal. exhausted; worn out.

A long bus ride home striked reminiscence of events from the past

What have I become?

What have become of me?

Someday we will find answers to this peculiar question we ask ourselves all the time

Perhaps we have all drawn conclusions

Denial is easier to deal with

Easier than fear

Chilled out with some close friends tonight

He said something that gave me inspiration and courage to move on

Why draw hesitation from what people might feel towards your situation?

You determine what you do to make yourself happy

Never expected these words to wham all my emotional baggages down

& these simple words turn out to be what I have been waiting for

There are certain words you can't buy

But certain words they come by, the right time

What's worse than to feel indifferent towards your own feelings?

We can't please everyone

Get out someday

Please yourself

Ever wondered what happens next after being pushed down the cliff?

I guess that's how it feels now

While on the verge of breaking down

They broke me down

Into fragments of what I know not anymore

It's always easy to say

For words are cheap

Nonetheless

Friendship

I thought it meant something,

We meant something

Then again

Words are cheap

Just cheap

21. On a Tuesday's 7.a.m, 

                                  no coffee, just cigarettes

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."

                             - Meredith Grey

P.S. It's the end,

The only difference - the chapter or the book

12. Beliefs

And so it rings true:

You see what you see, 

Hear what you hear,

Feelings can go wrong

But we believe in what we believe in

And there are many things 

Little things, 

that stands most vital to us

Little things we fail to see

Little things we fail to believe

We see but we see blindly

The world

We borrow one another's expression

Take in another's soul

We are too vain to see the tainted scars in ourselves

Yet we could see distinctly another's flaws

And the day you learn to see

Do it with your heart

And every night we smoke till ashes reaches the bud

Till the poison reaches our soul

Close our eyes

& We see

V.2 Unhappiness Is An Invention, (is it?)

                               "Like a painting of a sorrow, 

A face without a heart."

                                                                   -Wilde

I listened closely to the echo in my head, the familiar cosy voice from the root of the heart, and sometimes I think to myself things I never dare to imagine. Tonight I set myself free from the determination, the struggle to seek closure, the belief of humanity which once exists, I let go, given up but look beneath the surface. We were born innocent, but we can never preserve naivete. As reality unlocks the chastity of an infant mind, perspectives will never be the same as ever before. We see everything we want to see, but we can choose whether to believe.

V.1 I CAST THE LINE, YOU DREW DEFINITIONS

Have you ever felt intrigued by love? 

It's subtle beauty and intensity. 

The unfeigned emotions it raises. 

Today I loved

But unlike yesterday

I lost