Saturday, December 27, 2008

27. I Don't Need To Understand No More
Saturday spent at home. Chilly weather. Didn't rain though. I remember half my christmas eve spent alone, under shelter watching the rain as it chilled my blood; it chilled my heart. Sat at the same spot, he turned and smiled at me. What a lovely stranger. Waiter turned and he saw me, Erdinger as usual for my pretty lady there. He was wrong, I wanted Moet that grey evening, but as usual, I was eating my words, keeping my thoughts. Erdinger it is, usual beer for that unusual lady. Took out a stick and lit it. Exhale; there my soul liberates. He stole another glance, mastered his courage and came. Alone? Yes I much prefer so. Why on this christmas eve? Because I guess I lost time, I lost mine. He knew more to it, I lost love. Had I inspired him? Because I have lost all inspirations. He peered deep into my eyes and saw from the very edge, there was tears, tears that yearned. He left. I guess I left him uninspired. What a shallow soul, no depth even with every cut. Pathetic, you're so pathetic.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Loneliness is an underrated emotion.

The question then is, why do we need to fill up the holes of our life with people, even if they're people we don't believe in, or we've never met?

I doubt that even made sense. I press on.

As stupid as it may sound, we search for approval in places, and perhaps all we need is a smile from a stranger for everything to be okay. Something to be the spark, the catalyst to make us feel good enough for something.

I've come to fill the hole with hate. I know you can do better than I have.

Please stay strong.