31. WTFGGGGGGGGGGG

Unlike many others, I don't like to set goals and resolutions and whatnot, knowing that ultimately many unpredictable events leaves your goals and resolutions dangling and eventually forgotten. But like many others, I shall just make up a list of new year's resolution for upcoming 2009. Gosh, I can't believe I am turning 18 soon.

In 2009, I will

1) Like everyone advises, drink less

2) Get my driving license 

3) Turn 18 (like definitely achievable) 

4) Relax, & go to Bintan with friends 

5) Zouk more (only applicable in the holidays, but to hell with it)

6) Didn't I just say drink less? Women are such bitches at contradicting themselves

7) Stop contradicting yourself, no, myself

8) Get less hangover (like the one I'm having right now)

9) Attend my violin lessons at regular basis (come on already)

10) Embrace MCM year 2

11) Forgive and Forget

12) Be happy!

What. A. Resolution.

On the 29th December 1990, my best friend wailed. So this year, she wouldn't fail buying her favourite viceroy menthol lights. What am I thinking, sorry nat, hangover from last night. You know I love you! Happy Birthday!

27. I Don't Need To Understand No More

Saturday spent at home. Chilly weather. Didn't rain though. I remember half my christmas eve spent alone, under shelter watching the rain as it chilled my blood; it chilled my heart. Sat at the same spot, he turned and smiled at me. What a lovely stranger. Waiter turned and he saw me, Erdinger as usual for my pretty lady there. He was wrong, I wanted Moet that grey evening, but as usual, I was eating my words, keeping my thoughts. Erdinger it is, usual beer for that unusual lady. Took out a stick and lit it. Exhale; there my soul liberates. He stole another glance, mastered his courage and came. Alone? Yes I much prefer so. Why on this christmas eve? Because I guess I lost time, I lost mine. He knew more to it, I lost love. Had I inspired him? Because I have lost all inspirations. He peered deep into my eyes and saw from the very edge, there was tears, tears that yearned. He left. I guess I left him uninspired. What a shallow soul, no depth even with every cut. Pathetic, you're so pathetic.

15. Bluebells in Late December

I remember when I was younger, 

someone told me that stars are huge enormous rocks sitting across the universe. 

We as humans, living on earth, million miles away from those huge rocks, 

can only catch a glimpse of the stars as glitters and diamonds in the sky. 

But its still beautiful, even from afar. 

The stars remind me of you.

Tell me something, 

love never fails, & love prevails. 

Tell me something, 

even if you'll stay there, and I'm still here

Tell me we're beautiful enough 

10. No Surprises

Rouse this morning

Frazzled

Carried with my keys

I left home with it

"Sometimes the things you own, ends up owning you"

-Fight Club

Emotions, in this case.

you delve into your own hollow soul

as if its not deep enough

the first cut

as if its the first touch

Dwell, and there you swell

Cigarette butts

Stained your favorite cup

And there

Then

You realize